Dear Guys Working on the 405 Freeway,
How’s it going? I only ask because you started work over five years ago to add more lanes and, well... there aren’t any. I’ve also noticed that on most days you’re not actually doing anything. Is it possible you’ve grown bored with the project? From my untrained eye, you appear to be understaffed. Perhaps you might consider hiring a few thousand more guys and work in ‘round the clock shifts, instead of, you know, just when you feel like it. Also, to avoid angry commuters flipping you off, how about giving them a heads up when you close an off ramp for no apparent reason? (Maybe a few miles in advance instead of a hundred yards.) And finally, I need to ask a small favor. Several times a week I crawl along the ol’ 4-nication-05 with a bladder that is near to bursting. How about we work out a system where I, and other urinary-challenged drivers, get to pull over and share your port-a-potties? Maybe we can repay your hospitality by bringing you fresh magazines to read while you’re in there working.
Sincerely,
"The Terror you inspire and the Pride of your Heart has deceived you, O Dwellers in the Clefts of the Rock, who Occupy the Heights of the Hill, who says in his Heart, 'Who will bring me down to Earth?' Though you may rise High like the Eagle and though you set your Nest among the Stars, from there I will bring you down, declares YHVH" (Obadiah 1:3-4 Multilingual, Jeremiah 49:16 Multilingual).
"And all Edom [2 Samuel 8:14 Multilingual] and Sedom became Servants of David bearing an Offering" (2 Samuel 8:2 Multilingual).
Translation: "The United States of America which is called, according to The Spirit, 'In the Name of Sedom and Egypt,' where also their Lord was crucified" (Apocalypse 11:8 Multilingual).
אַרְצוֹת הַבְּרִית שֶׁל אַמְרִיקָה הַנִּקְרֵאת כְּפִי הָרוּחַ בְּשֵׁם סְדוֹם וּמִצְרַיִם אֲשֶׁר־שָׁם נִתלָה על הַעֵץ גַּם־אֲדֹנֵיהֶם